Saturday, March 13, 2010

An open letter to DO Sappey and His Royal Highness Majid Kalaminja

Most of us know who DO Sappey is and the cultured Maldivians would put a handkerchief to their faces when he is mentioned. Because we know him as an uncouth and vulgar political activist. Obviously he is not overburdened with grey matter and the level of intellect of people like him was best described by Sir Appleby Humphrey when he described the intellect of the fictitious British Prime Minister Right Honorable James Hacker: He has as much intellect as Winnie the Pooh.
Perhaps there are some who consider DO Sappey a hero of the 'Maldivian revolution'. Years ago he fled Maldives during the regime of President Maumoon. From UK he led a hectic internet campaign against the old regime. Many raised valid questions about who was financing him. When the opposition coalition won, Sappey of DO fame returned to Maldives probably expecting a cabinet berth or two. But President Nasheed is apparently taking sweet revenge because Sappey had stabbed him in the back in the last minute during presidential campaign and defected to Qasim's camp thinking the grass was greener there. Sappey didn't get the share of the pie he must have hoped for and had to settle for a few crumbs thrown around the President's office. He basically hangs around there.
Enter the next clown! His Royal Highness Majid Abdul Wahhab of Kingdom of Maldives. This deluded individual lives in a virtual world where he thinks that he is the rightful heir to the throne of Maldives. He laments the loss of the kingdom and hates the 'Republicans'. I had the interesting opportunity of corresponding with His Majesty few years ago when I accidentally stepped on his piece of royal excrement otherwise known as We had some exchanges with emails and he once addressed me angrily as 'you republican'. (that is in addition to 'witch doctor' and other colorful titles ('koli's) His Majesty graciously bestowed on me). It is perfectly ok for him to think that he is the King and we would gladly 'majesty' him (like in the great American novel by Mark Twain in which two low down rascals invade the boat in which Huck Finn and Jim the nigger were traveling down the Mississippi and claimed that one of them was a king (king of France!) and the other was a duke and Jim the nigger went on 'majestying' them).
Well we are ok even if Majid coronates himself as the next Kalaminja of Maldives. What we cannot tolerate is his rabid hatred of Islam and Muslims. He has spent the better part of his wretched life attacking Islam and Muslims. He claims that Maldives is a Buddhist country and Islam is an alien religion and advises that we should return to our 'roots'. He openly laments the presence of mosques in the Maldives: it makes an 'alien landscape'. He calls Islamic scholars 'Arab mercenaries'. He has tried to mock every aspect of Islam. In one of my mails I offered the undeserving fellow the universal salute 'Salaam alaikum'. His Highness immediately rose to the occasion and took umbrage for insulting him in a foreign and alien language and advised me to salute him with the original Dhivehi salute: 'swaasthi' (whatever it might mean!)
The latest excrement of His Royal Highness is the stinking piece mocking the concept of Paradise. The whole article stinks of kufr. The idea of an afterlife, paradise and hell are apparently too much for our hare brained wannabe King. So he is telling his readers: look what these Muslims believe! It is amazing the extent of trouble these unfortunate wretches would go to satisfy their obsessive compulsive need to malign Islam. The so called Minivan news (minivan only to insult Islam and the national sentiments of Maldivians) has officially translated Shaikh Ilyas' speech and Sappey has reproduced Majid's royal dropping in his website. It would appear from the particular stenches enemating that this latest product is a combined effort of the duo - the King and the Duke. This is borne by the fact that they have put some Arabic words in it by way of mocking Shaikh Ilyas and Dr Abdul Majeed. It is my opinion that His Majesty the King would gladly abdicate the Maldivian throne rather than learning a few words of Arabic. He would happily undergo a frontal lobotomy (removing part of the brain) to obliterate the Arabic alphabet his parents might have taught him while he was a child. He hates the alien language so. On the other hand the Duke Sappey has been in Kuwait and knows a little Arabic. The dangerous amount, I guess.
Why this sudden episode of anti Islamic diarrhoea? The thing which has acted as an enema is the fact the Maldivian people have hit them decisively where it truly hurts! Right below the belt! They have said NO to something very dear to such anti Islamic people. Namely ALCOHOL.
They take it as an unbearable insult that we Maldivians would think so low of something that courses through their veins. So they throw grandma seizures and delirious tremens.
What maddens these people is that the 'mullas' still has got a lot of say here. Things did not go the way they had wanted. The foreigners whom they have made various promises must be breathing down their necks! They are madder still because the people love Islam more than ever. People flock in tens of thousands to listen to enlightening speeches by Shaikh Ilyas and others. But who will listen to Sheikh Sappey?
My open advice to Sappey is: you are only making a fool of yourself by deliberately trying to hurt the sentiments of your fellow countrymen. Shame on you! Is it true that you got mad and shouted at your own mom because she was teaching Qur'an to kids in your house? If that is true, what manners can be expected from you! I sincerely advise you to repent and try to mend your ways before death overtakes you. Or, if you will not do that and if you don't give a damn about the Maldivian people, then just try not hurting your own mother, your own father or grandparents, who are believers in Allah, afterlife, Paradise and Hell.
And to our Royal Highness my request is: it is high time that Your Majesty end the life in exile and return to Maldives to sit on the Maldivian throne. Too many years in the wilderness among the Aborigines and the kiwis might reduce your kingly qualities. I am sure the Maldivians will be overjoyed to see the rightful heir to their throne. They will welcome you with red carpets.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Whose spokesperson is he?

Many people wondered for whom Mr. Zuhair is speaking - the president of the republic (for whom he is supposed to be the spokesperson) or the liquor lobby. The question arose by the interview he gave to Minivan News regarding the President's decision not to give liquor permits to hotels. The President's spokesman apparently lamented the President's decision. He said there are many Maldivians in Colombo where there are many bars, but they do not flock to these bars. He also said that Holiday Inn may sue the government.
His behavior begs the question: for whom he is speaking? The President's Office or the liquor store?